I grew up in a Christian home and going to church. I would be the definition of a church kid. When I was about 6 or 7, my older sister asked me if I had asked Jesus into my heart...to which I responded that I hadn't. She urged me to do it, and said the prayer with me. If my older sister said to do it, then it must be cool, right? But nothing really changed after that. I kept living my little life. But when I was 13 or 14 I started going to youth group, and that's where things really changed for me. My faith became my own, it wasn't something I believed because my parents did. I started reading my Bible and having quiet times with God everyday, and it became a big deal.
But, I have always struggled with being a lukewarm Christian. So around my sophomore year of high school, I stopped reading my Bible. I told myself, "I'll get to it later," and then never would. And then I developed a really bad respect issue. I disrespected my parents, I disrespected my teachers, it was really bad. So bad, that my parents told me that if I didn't straighten up, I wouldn't be playing basketball. I shrugged it off, telling myself I would take care of it. But, I also told myself that I didn't need God to take care of it. I could handle it on my own, I had control of my life. Things only got worse. After a few months, I was sitting in bed and I had a heavy weight on my heart telling me to pick up my Bible for the first time in months and read it. I prayed to God, disrepectfully, and said, "Ok, then. If you want me to read it so badly, then let me open it up to something you want me to read." And well, he did. I opened my Bible to Job 38 and I started reading. And it was a jaw-dropping, hit with a ton of bricks moment for me. I only read the first seven verses before putting my Bible down and getting on my knees and begging for forgiveness. This is what I read: Then the LORD spoke to Job out of the storm. He said: “Who is this that obscures my plans with words without knowledge? Brace yourself like a man; I will question you, and you shall answer me. “Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation? Tell me, if you understand. Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know! Who stretched a measuring line across it? On what were its footings set, or who laid its cornerstone—while the morning stars sang together and all the angels shouted for joy?
God had reminded me with that verse that I wasn't the one that was in control of my life. He was. After that, I got back in the word, and the disrespect slowly went away. My independent and stubborn personality was still there, but I had changed.
Around the beginning of junior year after visiting Uganda, I felt like I finally had my life on track. I was doing good with my walk with the Lord, and it became a pride issue. I started thinking really highly of myself because I thought that I couldn't get much better in my relationship with the Lord than I was now. But the Lord is faithful to prove you wrong, because shortly after, he took Virginia home. I felt like God had slapped me in the face and said, "Take that." I remember being so angry and frustrated because I didn't know what to do with the pain I was experiencing. But a week after the anger and shock of the accident set in, I started doing the exact opposite of what I would have done a year before. I ran to God. I prayed, I read my Bible constantly, and slowly, month after month, I began to feel the pain numb. I began to see the Lord's faithfulness and strength. I began to feel joy again. And I knew that because of my relationship with the Lord, that I would be ok. My pride that I had felt before Virginia died was gone, and it was replaced with a strength to get up and get moving again. I felt a peace come over me, and I started sleeping again. I kept reminding myself that life goes on, and that I would see her again.
My mom, she works two jobs. But in September, she lost her second job, the job that provided us with the income to pay for our school tuition. She got another job doing the same thing for someone else, but it was only getting her $30 a week. Our family income decreased, and the burden of having no money is like a cancer to our family. There was constant stress. My parents struggled to think of ways to pay the bills, pay for tuition, and pay to put gas in the four cars that are driven to town everyday. At Christmas, the school was selling Christmas trees for $40, and my mom came home crying everyday telling us she was sorry that we couldn't afford one. I had never thought about my family being poor before, and I didn't really know what to do about it. But God was faithful, and we got the news that someone bought us a Christmas tree. My parents, despite me telling them that I didn't need to go, were determined to send me to Europe on the senior trip, but they had no idea how they were going to pay for it if they didn't even know where school tuition money was going to come from. My parents prayed all day, everyday, knowing that the Lord would provide us with our needs. They trusted that everything would be ok. A week ago, the school board had a meeting, and afterwards they called my parents. They told us that someone had paid our school tuition for March, April, and May. My family got together, and we cried. That takes the burden off of our shoulders for 3 months. That strengthens our faith in God. That reminds us that he is faithful. And it taught me to put my trust in the Lord. It reminded me to pray, because he will be faithful to provide. Everytime I think about what he has done for my family and me, it brings me to tears because we have done nothing to deserve it.
That's my testimony. It's very updated on what God is doing, it pretty much goes all the way up to today. I'm sure that there is a lot more to come!!
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