Sunday, January 15, 2012
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Well, Here it Goes
So on Friday practices, our coach has one of us share our testimony. One of my teammates said that we shouldn't be ashamed of what God has done in our life, and that we don't have to share the details right now. No one has ever heard all the details of my testimony, so I think I'll post it here. Enjoy :)
I grew up in a Christian home and going to church. I would be the definition of a church kid. When I was about 6 or 7, my older sister asked me if I had asked Jesus into my heart...to which I responded that I hadn't. She urged me to do it, and said the prayer with me. If my older sister said to do it, then it must be cool, right? But nothing really changed after that. I kept living my little life. But when I was 13 or 14 I started going to youth group, and that's where things really changed for me. My faith became my own, it wasn't something I believed because my parents did. I started reading my Bible and having quiet times with God everyday, and it became a big deal.
But, I have always struggled with being a lukewarm Christian. So around my sophomore year of high school, I stopped reading my Bible. I told myself, "I'll get to it later," and then never would. And then I developed a really bad respect issue. I disrespected my parents, I disrespected my teachers, it was really bad. So bad, that my parents told me that if I didn't straighten up, I wouldn't be playing basketball. I shrugged it off, telling myself I would take care of it. But, I also told myself that I didn't need God to take care of it. I could handle it on my own, I had control of my life. Things only got worse. After a few months, I was sitting in bed and I had a heavy weight on my heart telling me to pick up my Bible for the first time in months and read it. I prayed to God, disrepectfully, and said, "Ok, then. If you want me to read it so badly, then let me open it up to something you want me to read." And well, he did. I opened my Bible to Job 38 and I started reading. And it was a jaw-dropping, hit with a ton of bricks moment for me. I only read the first seven verses before putting my Bible down and getting on my knees and begging for forgiveness. This is what I read: Then the LORD spoke to Job out of the storm. He said: “Who is this that obscures my plans with words without knowledge? Brace yourself like a man; I will question you, and you shall answer me. “Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation? Tell me, if you understand. Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know! Who stretched a measuring line across it? On what were its footings set, or who laid its cornerstone—while the morning stars sang together and all the angels shouted for joy?
God had reminded me with that verse that I wasn't the one that was in control of my life. He was. After that, I got back in the word, and the disrespect slowly went away. My independent and stubborn personality was still there, but I had changed.
Around the beginning of junior year after visiting Uganda, I felt like I finally had my life on track. I was doing good with my walk with the Lord, and it became a pride issue. I started thinking really highly of myself because I thought that I couldn't get much better in my relationship with the Lord than I was now. But the Lord is faithful to prove you wrong, because shortly after, he took Virginia home. I felt like God had slapped me in the face and said, "Take that." I remember being so angry and frustrated because I didn't know what to do with the pain I was experiencing. But a week after the anger and shock of the accident set in, I started doing the exact opposite of what I would have done a year before. I ran to God. I prayed, I read my Bible constantly, and slowly, month after month, I began to feel the pain numb. I began to see the Lord's faithfulness and strength. I began to feel joy again. And I knew that because of my relationship with the Lord, that I would be ok. My pride that I had felt before Virginia died was gone, and it was replaced with a strength to get up and get moving again. I felt a peace come over me, and I started sleeping again. I kept reminding myself that life goes on, and that I would see her again.
My mom, she works two jobs. But in September, she lost her second job, the job that provided us with the income to pay for our school tuition. She got another job doing the same thing for someone else, but it was only getting her $30 a week. Our family income decreased, and the burden of having no money is like a cancer to our family. There was constant stress. My parents struggled to think of ways to pay the bills, pay for tuition, and pay to put gas in the four cars that are driven to town everyday. At Christmas, the school was selling Christmas trees for $40, and my mom came home crying everyday telling us she was sorry that we couldn't afford one. I had never thought about my family being poor before, and I didn't really know what to do about it. But God was faithful, and we got the news that someone bought us a Christmas tree. My parents, despite me telling them that I didn't need to go, were determined to send me to Europe on the senior trip, but they had no idea how they were going to pay for it if they didn't even know where school tuition money was going to come from. My parents prayed all day, everyday, knowing that the Lord would provide us with our needs. They trusted that everything would be ok. A week ago, the school board had a meeting, and afterwards they called my parents. They told us that someone had paid our school tuition for March, April, and May. My family got together, and we cried. That takes the burden off of our shoulders for 3 months. That strengthens our faith in God. That reminds us that he is faithful. And it taught me to put my trust in the Lord. It reminded me to pray, because he will be faithful to provide. Everytime I think about what he has done for my family and me, it brings me to tears because we have done nothing to deserve it.
That's my testimony. It's very updated on what God is doing, it pretty much goes all the way up to today. I'm sure that there is a lot more to come!!
I grew up in a Christian home and going to church. I would be the definition of a church kid. When I was about 6 or 7, my older sister asked me if I had asked Jesus into my heart...to which I responded that I hadn't. She urged me to do it, and said the prayer with me. If my older sister said to do it, then it must be cool, right? But nothing really changed after that. I kept living my little life. But when I was 13 or 14 I started going to youth group, and that's where things really changed for me. My faith became my own, it wasn't something I believed because my parents did. I started reading my Bible and having quiet times with God everyday, and it became a big deal.
But, I have always struggled with being a lukewarm Christian. So around my sophomore year of high school, I stopped reading my Bible. I told myself, "I'll get to it later," and then never would. And then I developed a really bad respect issue. I disrespected my parents, I disrespected my teachers, it was really bad. So bad, that my parents told me that if I didn't straighten up, I wouldn't be playing basketball. I shrugged it off, telling myself I would take care of it. But, I also told myself that I didn't need God to take care of it. I could handle it on my own, I had control of my life. Things only got worse. After a few months, I was sitting in bed and I had a heavy weight on my heart telling me to pick up my Bible for the first time in months and read it. I prayed to God, disrepectfully, and said, "Ok, then. If you want me to read it so badly, then let me open it up to something you want me to read." And well, he did. I opened my Bible to Job 38 and I started reading. And it was a jaw-dropping, hit with a ton of bricks moment for me. I only read the first seven verses before putting my Bible down and getting on my knees and begging for forgiveness. This is what I read: Then the LORD spoke to Job out of the storm. He said: “Who is this that obscures my plans with words without knowledge? Brace yourself like a man; I will question you, and you shall answer me. “Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation? Tell me, if you understand. Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know! Who stretched a measuring line across it? On what were its footings set, or who laid its cornerstone—while the morning stars sang together and all the angels shouted for joy?
God had reminded me with that verse that I wasn't the one that was in control of my life. He was. After that, I got back in the word, and the disrespect slowly went away. My independent and stubborn personality was still there, but I had changed.
Around the beginning of junior year after visiting Uganda, I felt like I finally had my life on track. I was doing good with my walk with the Lord, and it became a pride issue. I started thinking really highly of myself because I thought that I couldn't get much better in my relationship with the Lord than I was now. But the Lord is faithful to prove you wrong, because shortly after, he took Virginia home. I felt like God had slapped me in the face and said, "Take that." I remember being so angry and frustrated because I didn't know what to do with the pain I was experiencing. But a week after the anger and shock of the accident set in, I started doing the exact opposite of what I would have done a year before. I ran to God. I prayed, I read my Bible constantly, and slowly, month after month, I began to feel the pain numb. I began to see the Lord's faithfulness and strength. I began to feel joy again. And I knew that because of my relationship with the Lord, that I would be ok. My pride that I had felt before Virginia died was gone, and it was replaced with a strength to get up and get moving again. I felt a peace come over me, and I started sleeping again. I kept reminding myself that life goes on, and that I would see her again.
My mom, she works two jobs. But in September, she lost her second job, the job that provided us with the income to pay for our school tuition. She got another job doing the same thing for someone else, but it was only getting her $30 a week. Our family income decreased, and the burden of having no money is like a cancer to our family. There was constant stress. My parents struggled to think of ways to pay the bills, pay for tuition, and pay to put gas in the four cars that are driven to town everyday. At Christmas, the school was selling Christmas trees for $40, and my mom came home crying everyday telling us she was sorry that we couldn't afford one. I had never thought about my family being poor before, and I didn't really know what to do about it. But God was faithful, and we got the news that someone bought us a Christmas tree. My parents, despite me telling them that I didn't need to go, were determined to send me to Europe on the senior trip, but they had no idea how they were going to pay for it if they didn't even know where school tuition money was going to come from. My parents prayed all day, everyday, knowing that the Lord would provide us with our needs. They trusted that everything would be ok. A week ago, the school board had a meeting, and afterwards they called my parents. They told us that someone had paid our school tuition for March, April, and May. My family got together, and we cried. That takes the burden off of our shoulders for 3 months. That strengthens our faith in God. That reminds us that he is faithful. And it taught me to put my trust in the Lord. It reminded me to pray, because he will be faithful to provide. Everytime I think about what he has done for my family and me, it brings me to tears because we have done nothing to deserve it.
That's my testimony. It's very updated on what God is doing, it pretty much goes all the way up to today. I'm sure that there is a lot more to come!!
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Hunger Games Quotes :)
So I have finished the Hunger Games trilogy. And so here are some of my favorite quotes!!
Effie: “Happy Hunger Games! And may the odds be ever in your favor!”
Caesar: “Handsome lad like you. There must be some special girl. Come on, what’s her name?”
Peeta: “Well, there is this one girl. I’ve had a crush on her ever since I can remember. But I’m pretty sure she didn’t know I was alive until the reaping.”
Caesar: “She have another fellow?”
Peeta: “I don’t know, but a lot of boys like her.”
Caesar: “So, here’s what you do. You win, you go home. She can’t turn you down then, eh?”
Peeta: “I don’t think it’s going to work out. Winning…won’t help in my case”
Caesar: “Why ever not?”
Peeta: “Because…because…she came here with me.”
Peeta: “Only I keep wishing I could think of a way to…to show the Capitol they don’t own me. That I’m more than just a piece in their Games”
Peeta: “You love me. Real or not real?"Katniss: "Real.”
"Peeta, how come I never know when you're having a nightmare?”
“I don't know. I don't think I cry out or thrash around or anything. I just come to, paralyzed with terror."
“You should wake me,” I say, thinking about how I can interrupt his sleep two or three times on a bad night. About how long it can take to calm me down.
“It's not necessary. My nightmares are usually about losing you,” he says. “I'm okay once I realize you're here.”
“You've got to go through it to get to the end of it.”
He looks down at his legs as if noticing his outfit for the first time. Then he whips off his hospital gown, leaving him in just his underwear. "Why? Do you find this" - he strikes a ridiculously provocative pose - "distracting?” hahaha, Finnick Odair.
"Your favorite color...it's green?"
"That's right. And yours is orange."
"Orange?"
"Not bright orange. But soft. Like the sunset. At least, that's what you told me once."
"Oh." He closes his eyes briefly, maybe trying to conjure up that sunset, then nods his head. "Thank you."
But more words stumble out. "You're a painter. You're a baker. You like to sleep with the windows open. You never take sugar in your tea. And you always double-knot your shoelaces." Then I dive into my tent before I do something stupid like cry.
He lies down, but just stares at the needle on one of the dials as it twitches from side to side. Slowly, as I would with a wounded animal, my hand stretches out and brushes a wave of hair from his forehead. He freezes at my touch, but doesn't recoil. So I continue to gently sooth back his hair. Its the first time I have voluntarily touched him since the last arena.
"You're still trying to protect me. Real or not real?" he whispers.
"Real," I answer. It seems to require more explination. "Because that's what you and I do. Protect each other."
"That was funny, what Tigris said. About no one knowing what to do with her."
"Well, we never have," Gale laughs. They both laugh. It's so strange to hear them talking like this. Almost like friends. Which they're not. Never have been. Although they're not exactly enemies.
"She loves you, you know," says Peeta. "She as good as told me after they whipped you."
"Don't believe it," Gale answers. "The way she kissed you in the Quarter Quell...well, she never kissed me like that."
"It was part of the show," Peeta tells him, although there's an edge of doubt in his voice.
"No, you won her over. Gave up everything for her. Maybe that's the only way to convince her you love her." There's a long pause. "I should have volunteered to take your place in the first Games. Protected her then."
"You couldn't," says Peeta. "She'd never have forgiven you. You had to take care of her family. They matter more to her than her life."
"Well, it wont be an issue much longer. I think it's unlikely all three of us will be alive at the end of the war. And if we are, then it's Katniss's problem. Who to choose." Gale yawns. "Yeah." I hear Peeta's handcuffs slide down the support as he settles in. "I wonder how she'll make up her mind."
"Oh, that I do know." I can just catch Gale's last words through the layer of fur. "Katniss will pick whoever she thinks she can't survive without."
Effie: “Happy Hunger Games! And may the odds be ever in your favor!”
Caesar: “Handsome lad like you. There must be some special girl. Come on, what’s her name?”
Peeta: “Well, there is this one girl. I’ve had a crush on her ever since I can remember. But I’m pretty sure she didn’t know I was alive until the reaping.”
Caesar: “She have another fellow?”
Peeta: “I don’t know, but a lot of boys like her.”
Caesar: “So, here’s what you do. You win, you go home. She can’t turn you down then, eh?”
Peeta: “I don’t think it’s going to work out. Winning…won’t help in my case”
Caesar: “Why ever not?”
Peeta: “Because…because…she came here with me.”
Peeta: “Only I keep wishing I could think of a way to…to show the Capitol they don’t own me. That I’m more than just a piece in their Games”
Peeta: “You love me. Real or not real?"Katniss: "Real.”
"Peeta, how come I never know when you're having a nightmare?”
“I don't know. I don't think I cry out or thrash around or anything. I just come to, paralyzed with terror."
“You should wake me,” I say, thinking about how I can interrupt his sleep two or three times on a bad night. About how long it can take to calm me down.
“It's not necessary. My nightmares are usually about losing you,” he says. “I'm okay once I realize you're here.”
“You've got to go through it to get to the end of it.”
He looks down at his legs as if noticing his outfit for the first time. Then he whips off his hospital gown, leaving him in just his underwear. "Why? Do you find this" - he strikes a ridiculously provocative pose - "distracting?” hahaha, Finnick Odair.
"Your favorite color...it's green?"
"That's right. And yours is orange."
"Orange?"
"Not bright orange. But soft. Like the sunset. At least, that's what you told me once."
"Oh." He closes his eyes briefly, maybe trying to conjure up that sunset, then nods his head. "Thank you."
But more words stumble out. "You're a painter. You're a baker. You like to sleep with the windows open. You never take sugar in your tea. And you always double-knot your shoelaces." Then I dive into my tent before I do something stupid like cry.
He lies down, but just stares at the needle on one of the dials as it twitches from side to side. Slowly, as I would with a wounded animal, my hand stretches out and brushes a wave of hair from his forehead. He freezes at my touch, but doesn't recoil. So I continue to gently sooth back his hair. Its the first time I have voluntarily touched him since the last arena.
"You're still trying to protect me. Real or not real?" he whispers.
"Real," I answer. It seems to require more explination. "Because that's what you and I do. Protect each other."
"That was funny, what Tigris said. About no one knowing what to do with her."
"Well, we never have," Gale laughs. They both laugh. It's so strange to hear them talking like this. Almost like friends. Which they're not. Never have been. Although they're not exactly enemies.
"She loves you, you know," says Peeta. "She as good as told me after they whipped you."
"Don't believe it," Gale answers. "The way she kissed you in the Quarter Quell...well, she never kissed me like that."
"It was part of the show," Peeta tells him, although there's an edge of doubt in his voice.
"No, you won her over. Gave up everything for her. Maybe that's the only way to convince her you love her." There's a long pause. "I should have volunteered to take your place in the first Games. Protected her then."
"You couldn't," says Peeta. "She'd never have forgiven you. You had to take care of her family. They matter more to her than her life."
"Well, it wont be an issue much longer. I think it's unlikely all three of us will be alive at the end of the war. And if we are, then it's Katniss's problem. Who to choose." Gale yawns. "Yeah." I hear Peeta's handcuffs slide down the support as he settles in. "I wonder how she'll make up her mind."
"Oh, that I do know." I can just catch Gale's last words through the layer of fur. "Katniss will pick whoever she thinks she can't survive without."
Saturday, January 7, 2012
I have, very recently, become addicted to Pinterest. For those of you who don't know, Pinterest is online pin boards that you can organize/catagorize and search through pins.
While browsing through some pins, I came across a prayer. It says, "Lord, empty me of me so I can be filled with you. Lord, empty me of the selfishness inside every vain ambition and the poison of my pride and any foolishness my heart holds to. Lord, empty me of ME so I can be filled with YOU."
Short, right? But now you want to be able to say, "I wish I had written that."
This prayer, to me, is the definition of giving yourself up to God. To be able to say, "Lord, rid me of me," and mean it.
While browsing through some pins, I came across a prayer. It says, "Lord, empty me of me so I can be filled with you. Lord, empty me of the selfishness inside every vain ambition and the poison of my pride and any foolishness my heart holds to. Lord, empty me of ME so I can be filled with YOU."
Short, right? But now you want to be able to say, "I wish I had written that."
This prayer, to me, is the definition of giving yourself up to God. To be able to say, "Lord, rid me of me," and mean it.
Pocket full of Tickets
So the other night during our family devotional, our dad asked us what we want to say we accomplished by the time we get to heaven. My sister answered, "I don't want to have wasted any talents."
This question reminded me about a book I read two years ago before I went on a missions trip to Uganda. It's called "One Thing You Can't Do In Heaven" by Mark Cahill. The "One Thing" is evangelism. Mark Cahill talks about how we can't evangelize once we die.
Cahill made an interesting point. He said that evangelism is like God giving us pocketfuls of tickets to Heaven. Our job is to hand them out. Some of the reasons why we are afraid to evangelize is we are to proud, afraid of rejection, or don't know what to say. But we have a pocket, and that pocket is full of tickets to Heaven. We need to remember that just because we hand out the ticket, doesn't mean that it will be used. We should look at every person we encounter as someone to share the gospel with. We should be able to stand before the Lord and say, "I did everything you asked. My pockets are empty. I wasted nothing."
This question reminded me about a book I read two years ago before I went on a missions trip to Uganda. It's called "One Thing You Can't Do In Heaven" by Mark Cahill. The "One Thing" is evangelism. Mark Cahill talks about how we can't evangelize once we die.
Cahill made an interesting point. He said that evangelism is like God giving us pocketfuls of tickets to Heaven. Our job is to hand them out. Some of the reasons why we are afraid to evangelize is we are to proud, afraid of rejection, or don't know what to say. But we have a pocket, and that pocket is full of tickets to Heaven. We need to remember that just because we hand out the ticket, doesn't mean that it will be used. We should look at every person we encounter as someone to share the gospel with. We should be able to stand before the Lord and say, "I did everything you asked. My pockets are empty. I wasted nothing."
Friday, January 6, 2012
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